Scary
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Ficlet: Badboy!Kurt and nerd!Blaine decide to hit up the local haunted house. One of them ends up being a huge scaredy cat, and it's not Blaine.


**September 30th isn't too early for Halloween fic, right?**

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><p>"Are you sure you wanna do this, babe?"<p>

"It's the Lima Memorial haunted house, Blaine, not a portal to Hell," Kurt said, raising one pierced eyebrow at his boyfriend. "I think I'll be okay."

"You also made me kill the spider in your bathroom the other week because you were too scared to go near it," Blaine said, skepticism undiluted by the thick lenses of his glasses.

"It was the size of a house!"

"Kurt, it was smaller than my pinky fingernail."

"Clearly you need to go to the optometrist when we're done here," Kurt teased. "Are you even safe to drive me home?"

"Hey, if you want to ditch me and ride home in the same car as Finn and Rachel, by all means, be my guest," Blaine said.

Kurt shuddered as they reached the front of the line, dismayed by the thought of being stuck in a car with those two. "Nothing's scarier than that thought. Compared to the idea of being subjected to Finna and Rachel's antics for an hour and a half, this haunted house is going to be a cakewalk."

"You may have a point there," Blaine conceded.

"Are you ready for the fright of your life?" the mummy manning the entrance asked them. When the boys nodded, he gestured for them to go ahead, letting out a low, evil cackle as they wandered into the darkened warehouse.

The moment his eyes adjusted to the near-total blackness, Kurt regretted agreeing to go into the haunted house. He could see only faint shapes and a vague glint of gel off Blaine's head in the meager lighting, and he couldn't tell if the sound of scrabbling, rat-like footsteps he heard was a recording or if there were actual rats in the building.

Just as Kurt was leaning in to whisper a snide remark to Blaine, a voice hissed "Boo!" directly into his ear, and he let out a loud, high-pitched scream.

"Baby, what-" Blaine began, but Kurt buried his head into Blaine's shoulderblades and clapped a hand over his mouth to cut him off.

"Just get me out of here," Kurt whimpered quietly, feeling himself shake. He dropped his hand from Blaine's mouth and tried to focus on keeping his breathing under control.

Blaine listened, walking a little faster through the maze of rooms. He commented on the décor or the costumes every so often - "Oooh, nice cape, Dracula!" or "Wow, that's a really impressive headstone," - but he also didn't linger anywhere, preventing any of the other cast members from adding to Kurt's fear.

Kurt, for his part, tried to keep himself from stepping on the backs of Blaine's oxfords and didn't let himself whine whenever Blaine paused even briefly with an "After you!" or "Sorry, just lemme get a better look at this scene for a sec."

After what felt like an eternity, Blaine finally said, "Hey, Kurt, we're at the exit."

Kurt lifted his head from Blaine's (quite cozy) sweater vest and blinked a couple times, eyes re-adjusting to the late evening sun. "Oh thank God."

"Are you all right?" Blaine asked, concerned. He opened his arms and Kurt stepped into them, wanting a proper hug.

"I lied. Riding home with Finn and Rachel would be far less terrifying than that monstrosity."

"Babe, you didn't even see one full room before screeching and hiding in my shoulder," Blaine said. Kurt could tell he was holding in a laugh. "How do you know how terrifying it was?"

"Blaine, that ghost came out of nowhere! For all I know, that place was _actually _haunted!" Kurt said, a bit too hysterical for his liking.

"Honey," Blaine said patiently. "That wasn't a real ghost. It wasn't even a real cast member. Puck sneaked in behind us and scared you – I saw his mohawk out of the corner of my eye."

Kurt was silent for a moment. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm going to kick his ass into next week, oh my God."

"Sure you are, tough guy," Blaine said, smirking. "You gonna do it before or after we go home and cuddle while watching _The Sound of Music_?"

"I hate you."

"Are you gonna need to hide again when the Nazis show up?"

"We're not dating anymore."

"Baroness Schrader's plot to keep Maria and Georg apart won't frighten you too much, will it?"

"You're such an asshole."

"But I'm _your _asshole," Blaine said, fluttering his eyelashes melodramatically.

Kurt burst into cackling laughter. "I don't know if that's really an endearment you want to go with, B."

"It made you laugh, didn't it?" Blaine said with a grin. "That's all I was aiming to do."

"You're too cute," Kurt said, leaning in and kissing Blaine. "Even when you're being a jerk."

"And I think you're wonderful, especially when you're cowering into my shoulder like a newborn baby with pink hair and a leather jacket," Blaine teased, kissing away Kurt's insincere scowl. "You wanna get doughnuts and cider before we go home?"

"Are you really asking me that, B? It's like you don't even know me at all." Kurt took Blaine's outstretched hand in his own and let him cut a path to the little wooden shack where the concessions were being sold. He didn't know what he'd done to get a ridiculous, adorable boyfriend like Blaine, but he wasn't complaining.


End file.
